Christmas Around The Fireplace
December 15, 2008
This Christmas I can’t wait to huddle around the fireplace! It’s going to be so festive! 
Fireplaces actually give the Christmas stockings somewhere to live. It will look so authentic and old school Christmas like. I might even get some satsumas and mulled wine to get into the spirit.
The only problem I face is the crazy husky puppy that I have had recently brought home. I’m sure that he’ll cause himself injury as surely he will not know to stay away. I am told that if he does it once he won’t do it again, but he is so beautiful that I cannot let him run the risk.
We put the Christmas tree up and that was hard enough, try telling a 5 month old puppy that baubles are not for tea. The lights are actually integrated into the tree and I was very worried that he would be electrocuted by trying to nibble on one. He’s at that age where all he wants to do is eat stuff, anything and everything!!!
The biggest travesty is that I haven’t even been allowed chocolates on the tree as the pup will become even more hell bent on eating the tree.
It’s a good job he’s cute!!!
Conference Antics
December 9, 2008
I went to a conference the other month and had the misfortune of having to wear an embroidered polo shirt. The worse of it was that we had to wear them with black work trousers, jeans fair enough we could have pulled off the look with some dignity, but embroidered polo shirts are the pits of fashion! I think we looked like we worked in a bar rather than being marketing experts.
Then some silly promo bird decided that she didn’t like me?! Every time she paraded past our stand she managed to smile at everyone about her, giving them free bags with nothing in them and then slyly gave me the daggers while no one was looking.
On the second day (amidst my terrible hangover) she found herself a friend. While the pair walked past me (in tights with nothing else – except camel toe) she pointed at me saying “she’s the evil one”?!?!
Now I am only 25 and a couple of years ago was in fact a promo girl. Never did I act like such a little diva, parading with paper bags and camel toe?! A part of me did begin to feel crap that I was wearing my embroidered polo shirt with mismatching trousers and shoes, but then I thought I have risen above the promo work and now have a proper job with knowledge and respect. Miss Thing just needs to get over herself!
Bigger Condoms for the French?!
November 29, 2008
According to the French they need the biggest condoms in Europe. Greeks operate just fine with smaller ones according to an EU wide study by a German consultancy providing condom advice. 
The study included over ten thousand men, throughout 25 countries, measuring their willies with their number entered into a database.
The results tell us that on average the French claim use over 15.48cm long condoms, which is 3cm longer than those poor Greeks.
The study took eight months to complete, though Jan Vinzenz Krause, the director of the institute would not comment on how honest the Frenchman were.
The studies objective was to educate young people about responsible sex and the use of effective contraception.
The Wonderful World of Sports Supplements
November 28, 2008
Are sports supplements ethical? Surely it is just the same as eating healthily to improve your fitness. When people (for example Dwain Chambers) take illegal enhancing supplements clearly this is unethical as the competition is not able legally to get the same aids to improve their performance.
The actual effectiveness of some sports supplements is disputable as they are merely a weight gaining shake rather than something that increases protein synthesis in your muscles as steroids do.
Most sports supplements are riddled with creatine that basically gives you diarrhoea. Surely this would offset the weight gain, as you would be constantly getting rid of any weight that you put on. Not only that, but you could become anaemic through having the squits indefinitely.
This begs the questions, exactly how far will some people go for success? It’s not only prevalent in sport; models starving themselves to be the thinnest and most famous on the catwalk. What about business moguls working 18 plus hour days and literally walking into an early grave?
With any level of excellence comes some level of sacrifice, be it physically, socially or impacts on your friends and family. If you are that driven to succeed then it is likely you will take what help you can get from enhancers, depending on your ethics; the legal or illegal ones.
Baby Showers?
November 25, 2008
What exactly is a baby shower? Initially, I thought it was a miniature shower that makes the cleanliness of babies easier. No, apparently it is a celebration for women during their pregnancy, mainly for the middle class. 
Baby Showers do somehow seem a little bit cruel. All those slender women, gathered around drinking, while you sit, holding in your flatulence, miserable and sober.
Would a baby shower have a different atmosphere if it was an ‘oops’ pregnancy rather than a long planned and desperately wanted heir. I guess you wouldn’t bother having a baby shower if the shattering news of the forthcoming birth hadn’t quite sunk in. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to have an ‘Oh my God, my life is over’ shower? The guests could bring round gifts such as nipple cream, stretch cream, gherkins and baggy pants, just don’t bring a noose! There could be lily’s everywhere much like a funeral.
Yet still I can’t get my head round a party where the host can’t get hammered?! I guess that’s why it’s called a ‘baby shower’ and not a baby party, because in fact it doesn’t qualify as a party.
I hope when that fateful time comes for me (in the very distant future) I will be ready for the great delights and thrills of baby showers. If you are there now then all the best and happy sprogging!
Online Dating: Another Source Of Men
November 4, 2008
Having never used online dating sites I fall into the dubious category and am somewhat scared to use such services. I do however have friends that have used them and found them to be a successful source of men. The friend I talk of what the hottest girl in my year and her decision to use a dating site came initially from a joke. However, low and behold, she found an equally hot chap to go out with and enjoyed a number of enjoyable dates. 
Nothing actually came of the relationship however, which leads me to think that it may be a bank full of men that are serial daters. Any fit men that are on these sites are probably only using them because they have saturated their local market of women, done the rounds and basically conquered all female mountains in the area.
The only saving grace is that the hot women that they will inevitably go for on the online dating matrix will in fact be players themselves. They could easily find a man in the real world and therefore will have no problems playing a player at his own game.
Girl Power is no longer a thing of the 90’s, us girls can give as good as we get. If you find that the losers in your area just don’t cut the mustard anymore, check out the talent online. Granted it’s probably just as poor as down your local pub but at least you can vet their CV first!
Extremists Barred From UK
October 29, 2008
At last tougher measures are being put in place to prevent extremism in the UK. Home Secretary Jacqui Smith announced that those who are preaching anti-Britishness will not be allowed to enter the UK.
Since 2005, there have been 230 people barred from the UK, but up until now their identities have remained a mystery. Now, in some cases their names will be made public. Of the previously excluded people there have been; holocaust deniers, neo-Nazis and animal rights activists, with around 80 being religious extremists.
It is expected that Mrs Smith will announce her full plan later today and will look to call coming to the UK a ‘privilege’ which shouldn’t be abused.
Conservative Home Affairs Committee member Patrick Mercer worries that the measures will target the wrong people and has said:
“It’s the people who are working undercover, who aren’t known about, who are working inside the community and influencing people there, they are the really dangerous people.”
Chris Huhne, Lib Dem home affairs spokesman said that the plans didn’t go far enough to dealing with those already in the UK and preaching on the web. He said:
“The main problem with these sorts of eye-catching gimmicks is they don’t make us any safer at all. What we’re looking for is delivery.”
I think that this is a step in the right direction. Being British is a very lucky thing indeed. The UK is open to immigrants more than most countries and we are happy for people to join our culture. It is a shame that the small minority that insight hate give a bad reputation for the many that contribute and engage in our society. If there were better measures in the UK to deal with those who have no intention of becoming British and do not want to integrate into our communities, then it is likely there would be less bigots hassling those who do.
No National Day For Britain
October 28, 2008
Plans put forward by Gordon Brown for a “national day” have been scrapped, despite a need for a celebration of Britishness in the UK. 
The idea stemmed from America’s 4th July celebrations and Frances Bastille Day and was to urge Britons to be more patriotic. The day was first promoted by Brown after the 7/7 bombings and was recommended as part of the citizenship review by Lord Goldsmith.
However, Constitution Minister Michael Wills said;
“A number of Lord Goldsmith’s recommendations merit further consideration across Government and will be taken into account in discussion and debate on policy development in these areas. However, there are no plans to introduce a national day at the present time”.
Immigration Minister, Liam Byrne proposed that the June bank holiday weekend be made the ‘Great British Weekend’ to celebrate what we loved best about Britain. This would mean that Britons would not get any additional bank holidays.
Nick Herbert who is the shadow justice secretary told the Daily Express;
“First a national motto, then an oath of allegiance, now a patriotic day - one token initiative after another in Gordon Brown’s Britishness agenda has sunk without trace. Labour still hasn’t worked out that British identity is bound up in our institutions, culture and history. It can’t be re-manufactured by their spin doctors.”
Victoria Secrets Treasure Chest…
October 24, 2008
Talk about the height of extravagance! The lingerie giant Victoria’s Secret is currently promoting their new product and quite frankly the ultimate stocking filler! VS commissioned Martin Katz, jeweller to the stars to produce the most extravagant hosiery item yet.
The Victoria Secret brand chose Adriana Lima, Brazilian beauty and supermodel to wear the extravagant number for this seasons Christmas Dreams and Fantasies Catalogue.
The black diamond fantasy miracle bra has 3,575 black diamonds, 117 one carat round diamonds, 34 rubies and 2 black diamond drops which in total equates to 1500 carat weight. This feast of diamond luxury doesn’t come in cheap, with a cost of $5 million!
I know what I want Santa to bring me this year… though I can’t see it happening!
Project Relocation To Manchester
October 23, 2008
I have recently moved to a new apartment in Manchester which has taken many, many viewings to find one I liked. I am quite sure that over the last few months in my mission to relocate I have seen every type of apartment on the market. Ranging from the grotesque, partially built and the far too nice to be in my price range apartment.
Seriously though, the some of the bathroom suites I saw; the first one was like a seventies throw back… please see the picture to understand something like the sheer horror I encountered!
I am a modern girl; I like modern features within my home. I even saw a basement apartment; no natural light; it would have been like living as a mole in a burrow. Is it so much to ask to find a nice home, possible to actually live in, that isn’t in the middle of the ghetto?!?!
Anyway, I am now relocated. After the trauma of seeing so many unsuitable places and then when I eventually did find two I liked someone had already put a deposit down an hour before me… literally picked to the post!
So, feeling done in by the whole relocation mission, I finally found what seemed like the last apartment in Manchester and quickly applied to put down a deposit. Now my flat is right next to a duel carriage way, with 24 hour traffic, I might as well live the house in the middle of the M62!
It’ll do for the next six months, though next time I think I’ll be more patient with the situation.